so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
