So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
