The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
