You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize