we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
