Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
