Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
NoShamevember. You game?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
