I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I want a musical about memes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
