Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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