I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize