had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Let's paint friendship bongs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
