Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
