i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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