She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
