Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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