pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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