Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
