Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
