I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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