I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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