Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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