So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
