I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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