I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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