accomplished twins. life is a go
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
