I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I would ride that face into the sunset
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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