Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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