I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
