Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
id be glad to
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
