Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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