wakey wakey hands off snakey
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
