This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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