Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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