what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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