Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
