3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
