the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
