the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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