You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
