Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
