There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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