My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
