the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
