Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
