Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
