were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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