Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
