he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
