omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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