You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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