I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
