WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
