It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
