I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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