i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
