Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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