The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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