I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
