The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
