Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
