I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
